Why is it so hard to say what you feel?
One psychologist’s post says many people cannot express how they feel because they lack the vocabulary to identify it. The confusion feeds frustration and anger, and leaves people feeling overwhelmed.
The post traces part of the problem to childhood. When a child is hurt and a parent calls it no big deal, the child feels one thing and hears another. The child learns to push the feeling away.
What sits underneath the anger?
A second post, written about love relationships, makes a bolder claim. The post cites attachment science. Reactive anger is the easier reaction to show. Underneath, people usually face one of three core emotions: sadness, shame or fear of abandonment.
Taken as a rule for everyone, the claim would be too neat. The post frames the pattern as a usual one, and it writes about intimate relationships. Treat the list as a prompt for reflection.
Which five questions help you pinpoint an emotion?
The relationship post breaks an emotion into parts. Ask what the trigger was. Notice the sensation in your body. Note how your mind first read the situation. Ask what meaning you made of it. Then name your action tendency: do you want to flee, fight back or shut down?
Once you can identify the parts, the post says, the feeling becomes one tangible whole, and the effect on the body is grounding and calming. A clear signal also helps a partner respond, and partners feel more attuned when you can state what you need.
How do you build a vocabulary for feelings?
The first post suggests six habits. Learn more emotion words, with a feelings wheel as a tool. Set time to notice your emotions without judgement. Journal about what happened and what you felt. Track the situations and people which trigger you. Practise regulation, such as deep breathing or exercise. Try a creative outlet such as painting, writing, music or dance.
The posts are general guidance. The website does not say any clinician follows the five-question method.
What does a clinical psychologist in Dubai do with the five questions?
The clinic’s FAQ says a first session focuses on your current concerns, personal history and goals. The psychologist listens, asks focused questions and outlines a suggested approach. The FAQ says a psychologist assesses, diagnoses and treats using talk-based therapy and psychological testing.
The individual therapy page lists anger and relationship difficulties among the concerns it covers, and Emotion-Focused Therapy among its eight approaches. Four of its nine listed specialists carry a clinical psychologist title: Yara Sawan, Nazanin Sadegh Pour, Dr Rassil Ghazzaoui and Dr Rudy Abi Habib. The site does not say which clinician uses Emotion-Focused Therapy, so ask the coordinator.
Bring the Five Questions to a First Session
If the five questions leave you stuck, bring them to a first session. Email info@thevalensclinic.ae or use the contact form on the website, and mention the reaction you want to understand.
Every clinician holds a licence from the Dubai Health Authority (DHA) or the Community Development Authority (CDA), as the FAQ page states.