Update
Blog
Written by: Dr. Daniela Graf
In my 14 years as a consultant child and adolescent psychiatrist in Dubai and Germany, I have had the privilege of working with thousands of families.
The reasons why families consult me are many and varied. These can range from mental health challenges such as ADHD, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, OCD, tic disorders and many other mental health disorders, as well as issues that relate solely to family interaction.
Parents often consult me about Child and adolescent psychiatry in Dubai and the amount of freedom they should allow their child. Of course, it is always important to take cultural and religious aspects into account when giving advice.
Our society is constantly evolving and children and adolescents today have many more opportunities to do things and make new friends, including online, thanks to social media and newer technologies. Of course, this also harbours a lot of risks. The tendency of parents to protect their children from such dangers is, therefore, absolutely understandable. However, children and young people do not share their parents’ concerns to the same extent, which very often leads to massive tensions within the family.
The biggest challenge here is to find a healthy balance between protecting children and young people from danger on the one hand and giving them age-appropriate freedom of choice on the other hand.
I absolutely believe that toddlers and young children need structure and a clear network of consistent rules. Adolescents often find these rules massively disruptive and feel limited in their autonomy development and self-determination.
Almost every patient I see in my child and adolescent psychiatry in Dubai wants more freedom of choice from their parents. One patient once said to me, “My parents would do everything for me except letting me be myself”. This often leads to endless discussions and ongoing conflicts, which the families find very stressful.
Of course, there is little room for negotiation on some topics (school attendance, screen consumption, health-related concerns, etc.). For other topics, however, such as career choices, choice of university, partnership, hobbies, and circle of friends, I would advise giving the child as much freedom as possible to make their own decisions and follow their wishes and needs.
And yes, dear parents, your child will make wrong decisions in life and may regret them later, but we have all always learned the most from the mistakes we have made ourselves. We have all warned toddlers so many times not to touch the hot hob. Nevertheless, they will try to touch the glowing red hot plate again and again. When will they stop doing this? The day they burn their fingers.
The desire to try to spare your child all disappointments and failures in life deprives the child of the opportunity for self-determination and self-efficacy. Both are essential for good self-esteem and the ability to lead an autonomous life. So try to trust your child as much as possible that they are, most of the time, perfectly capable of making good decisions for themselves. And offer your child a sympathetic ear without reprimanding them, even in times of bad decisions. This also increases the chance that your child will ask you for advice when making future decisions.
Seeking help from a child psychologist in Dubai or a psychiatrist in Dubai can greatly assist families in managing these dynamics and ensuring children receive the necessary guidance while developing self-determination. Many parents want the best child psychologist in Dubai to help navigate these concerns, which ensures the child’s mental health is well-supported.