Update
Blog
Written by Paoula Saoud, Clinical Psychologist at The Valens Clinic, Dubai.
At The Valens Clinic in Dubai, we understand that relationships evolve through various stages. When we first fall in love, we often want to spend every moment together, thriving in the infatuation stage. However, for relationships to develop into long-lasting bonds based on respect and care, it is essential for partners to maintain their individuality.
Dependence in relationships is often viewed negatively, but it is a natural component of any close bond. It refers to relying on your significant other for emotional support, companionship, and care. However, increased dependence can leave the partner feeling overwhelmed or suffocated. It can also lead to losing a sense of self and not paying attention to certain personal needs.
Independence in relationships is when each partner can maintain a sense of identity and individuality. This aspect is crucial as it allows partners to pursue their individual interests, passions, social life, and experiences which will contribute to their self-esteem and personal growth. However, too much independence can lead to distant relationships; it can create a gap between two partners that will lead to a lack of intimacy, miscommunication, and difficulty managing conflicts.
So, what is a healthy balance?
Interdependence represents the middle ground between independence and dependence. In an interdependent relationship, partners support each other, fostering emotional and physical connection while maintaining their individuality. Interdependence ensures that the relationship is equal on all levels. It allows partners to grow together and seek shared experiences and shared goals while they both feel valued and respected. Interdependent relationships are more resilient to challenges, disagreements, and conflicts, as partners can rely on each other without losing their sense of self. At The Valens Clinic, we specialize in helping couples in Dubai achieve this balance through our expert relationship counseling services.
Think of it like a dance: dependence is when you can only dance together, independence is when you are both dancing separately and alone, and interdependence is when you can have a solo but you will also meet each other to create a shared harmonious choreography and dance together!
Khalil Gibran on “The Space Between Us”:
Let there be spaces in your togetherness.
And let the winds of heaven dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but each one of you be alone – even as the strings of a lute are alone though the quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not in each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart.